cam/kae @chaeya@fandom.garden

#introduction hi my name is cam, i also go by kae (tho people dont usually call me that unfortunately aha), im 20 and trans mlm.
i'm trying to start fresh here after elon bought twitter hh
i'm currently into genshin mostly but also like anime and other games like fe3h, enstars, project sekai, obey me and nu:carnival

i'm not good with people so i'm sorry if i sound rude or intimidating at times
i hope to find interesting people to interact with here

anyway I'll only be using this to vent from now on since it's not good for anything else. might private or smth idk idc
sorry for going back to elons paradise but I just can't be entertained here

ik if I refresh there will be more stuff I like whereas here no matter how hard I look it's like every user here just choses to be radio silent
I've looked through tags and stuff and nothing here does it for me

how can the void of posts about middle aged people concerns compete against this 🙃🙃

I really don't want to be the twitter user people make fun of here that ends up ditching this place to go back to twitter only but,,, it's too tempting
just going back there and seeing my tl filled with art and stuff that I like makes me feel a lot happier than coming on here to refresh and refresh to see nothing as usual

I really do think people here exaggerate how bad it is to have an algorithm in social media
at least with an algorithm I get to see things I actually enjoy and care about instead of being forced to look only to not find anything bc here no one really talks about anything

honestly after trying to spend more time here than on twitter makes the times I go on twitter feel like a bigger treat than it should
it's so refreshing seeing all the things I like and all the fanart and stuff compared to the endless silence here, it's almost oppressive

I can't get any of this in my head but the exam is in a few days ://

whenever my bf is upset bc of someone I just feel this surge of protectiveness it's like I want to fly over to China and beat anyone that's ever hurt him up just make sure he won't be upset anymore
he's just so nice and gentle and everyone just walks all over him it really pisses me off but I can't do anything more than try to cheer him up

anyway totally unrelated to my previous posts but I feel kinda shitty
I had a really weird dream (too weird to fully explain) where during a performance at my uni a guy tried to kiss me and I pushed him away playfully but then after that I went to him and kissed him instead and now that I woke up I feel super guilty about dreaming about kissing other guys when I have a bf hhh
in the dream I remember feeling guilty too but still doing it :// I really don't think I'd ever cheat but ig my subconscious is just telling me I'm really lonely

idk maybe I'm crazy for thinking that people should have permission from people who's cultures they wanna use to avoid them being misused or gentrified
but that's just my take on it

I do think that being spiritually open can be good even tho I'm generally an atheist and I do think that witch culture could be good too if the people involved were more open to learn about these cultures and appreciate them instead of taking them as their own
if they listened to poc witches more and used these practices the way they're meant to be used instead of picking them apart and doing what feels easier to them then maybe it could actually help keep these cultures alive but instead it's making these cultures die faster because no one can protect them from all these people erasing parts of them

it's the same or even worse vibes from those girls that take a year off from uni to go "find themselves" at underdeveloped countries and end up coming back and acting like they're so special because "omg it's so sad how they live in those villages 😔😔 but I was there to out a smile on their faces" and bringing the parts of those cultures that they were able to process in their little culturally illiterate brains and gentrify it to sell it to other white people

it's just that whenever I see someone call themselves a witch these days I just know they haven't studied a single bit on the cultures they're using for their own little "spirituality" and obviously I'm not an expert either, the most I studied about spirituality was about Asian spirituality bc I'm an asian studies major but still
seeing cultures that I can recognise and know the history behind them and the struggles behind keeping it alive being appropriated and turned into a toy for bored teenagers mostly is so disheartening

I really woke up with this hot take boiling in my mind lmao

like I'm sorry you are not a witch you're a cultural appropriator
there's plenty of European witch practices to base your own practices in but they always go for Asian, black and native American practices bc it's convenient to take from those who couldn't defend their practices due to colonisation and such

I even remember black and native american content creators on tik tok telling these "witches" to stop using vudu arts and burning sage bc those are important practices to them and can even be dangerous and bc white sage is a protected species but these "witches" didn't care they just proceeded to do wtv they want with other people's cultures

my problem.with the whole witch culture nowadays is that it's mostly white girls appropriating bits and pieces of either black, native American, South Asian or even southeast Asian cultures and mashing it all together to call it "witchy"
and when you call them out on it they accuse you of not being "open minded" but acting like mix and matching pieces of cultures you don't understand or credit isn't being "spiritual" it's being disrespectful and gentrifying these cultures for your own taste

chaeya domain really out there not providing for chaeya 😔😔